after a long day of training, and the two year old runs to you when being seen, gives you a big bear hug and in the sweetest (maybe manipulative) voice ever saying… “i like you ms faith”.

just makes everything so worthwhile. (:

i miss teaching.

proper teaching – 6 hours straight – 30 kids – 7subjects.

 

i must be crazy. 

i miss making my own materials, i miss homework, i miss working alone, i miss having my own class.

i miss making my own lessons, having them any way i want, not needing to be similar to 4 other classes.

i miss having holidays, having lunch breaks away from the kids, i miss dott time.

i miss running around in a big wide open space, i miss having fitness.

i miss big classrooms, i miss having the smartboard.

i miss lunching and teabreaking in the staff room, i miss the weekly teachers meeting in the staff room too!

 

 

 

i miss teaching. 

maybe its just suspicion and a hint of jealously.

the closeness is getting a little too freaky for me.

 

movin’ on.

no matter how far i am away, ‘you’ will always be a part of me.

a part that will never be forgotten.

 

of all the laughters, tears, and different emotions shed.

i won’t deny that i don’t miss ‘you’, and never thought of going back.

 

but i guess i  am here now, and i can’t really change this fact.

 

 

 

 

so.. please.. don’t ask me why i did not apply for my PR.

one phrase, one line.

that’s all it would take, (and possibly a ton of money & annual leave)..

to make me want to drop everything buy a ticket, take a plane and fly.

 

its only January.

but i am already thinking of my next get-away.

not really much of the grad/half cell trip to korea….

but more of the solo trippin back to perth.

 

i guess somehow, that my became my comfort zone, a place of refuge and feeling safe.

maybe cos i am stick of politics, uncertainties and tired of playing the waiting game in various areas of my life.

maybe cause i just want to run away and hide. but i know.. heading back now will be doing more harm then good to me. but i guess thats also my way of saying. thats it. i just want to throw in the towel already.

New Year, New beginnings. New season of life. New resolutions for 2014. 

 

so.. this year.. i aim to…..

1) be more adventurous with food. (maybe durians?)

2) eat more greens / fruits

3) morning runs 2-3x a week before work (let’s see how long this will last, or when i will start).

4) stop shortchanging myself.

and so she said…

“Perform well, and this will be your class eventually.”

 

the whole puzzle fell right in front of my face, fixed and ready to go.

am i ready, am i prepared?

am i up to the standard that the rest has set before me?

MayBe.

– i am just not ready to get out of the comfort zone.

– i am just not ready to know the answer.

– i am not ready for a change to happen

– i just don’t dare to face reality.

looking back….

 

what triggered the changed?

what happened?

why am i back to square one?